Sunday, June 12, 2005

So is silence really golden?

When you have kids, you get used to a certain amount of noise.

When you have a child with ADD you get used to a LOT more noise.

When my son isn't talking, he's singing. When he's not singing, he's humming or just making random mouth noises to some melody that's only pleasant o him. Or playing at whining. He thinks it' funny to say 'WAAAAAAA' in the loudest whines voice he can. For no reason. Just to make noise.

On some occasions, we see another symptom of ADD: e hyper-focuses. What this means is that he gets interested in a task and no matte what we do we can't pull im way. Most of these times though, we don't try. Those hours when h is hyper-focused on art or on Lego are some o the only waking hours of quiet we get and we enjoy them. It's not like focusing on Lego is going to hurt him, after all.

But the hyper-focused silence can be deceptive. This morning he was right into colouring. It was amazing. A Sunday morning that was peaceful. He at sat the kitchen table and coloured and drew and coloured some more. His younger brother would drop in on him for small 10-15 minute colouring sessions, then go do his own thing. No arguing. No whining. No non-stop noise. I made a cup of tea and sat at the computer. I let my guard down for a bit. This is a golden moment, I thought.

Then into the living room came my creative wonderful quiet-for-a-time ADD son. But he didn't look like himself. In the 15 minutes that I had let myself enjoy the quiet, he had used his permanent markers to make himself look like Spider Man. The art was impressive, to give him credit. He had even taken is shirt off and drawn web lines all over his chest and the parts of is back he could reach.

We have tried three times today to wash it off. But it's looking like he's going to school decorated.

So today I learned that silence, in this household, may be golden, but it does NOT mean that an ADD child has miraculously gained the ability to control impulses and make good decisions.