Friday, April 27, 2007

The Canucks Ate My Night

As many of you know, I don't like watching sports on television. I find it boring, and generally a waste of time.

But MAN did I ever enjoy watching tonights game between the Vancouver Canucks and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks!

And I especially liked that we WON. Boo ya.

The game went into overtime, which meant it ended jut before 11 PM. We had told Lucas he could stay up to watch the game, so it was a late bedtime for him. Fortunately, Coram passed out on the couch during the game. He would have been particularity nightmarish in the morning if he had been up until 11PM.

Which brings me to one of the parenting conundrums we face: how to create the illusion of 'equal treatment' for two kids with distinctly different set of needs and abilities.

Lucas can handle a late night, no problem. Especially on a weekend, since he will jsut sleep later tomorrow. Coram, on the other hand, cannot. He won't sleep late, his little body just won't let him. Plus, his need for routing demands that he gets up and has breakfast and completes his morning tasks the same way and time each day. He also would not allow himself a nap if he needed it during the day tomorrow. And when Coram is tired, all the coping skills he has been working so hard on go out the window.

When life is a daily struggle to interpret new situations, novel commands, and varying expectations, your energy level is crucial. Since Coram cannot learn from context, and cannot assimilate changing environments as fast as typical people, every day, every new situation, is a struggle. In school, he has been learning how to ask fo help, and how to redirect his frustration when it all just gets to be too much for him. He has been making truly amazing strides.

But add a few hours less sleep into the mix, and the day is a nightmare. Add to it, you can't get him to go to bed early, because that is out of synch with his routine.

So, when Lucas asks to stay up late, I say yes. After all, there's no school tomorrow, the Canucks are playing, and it's something he can handle.

But how could I say not to Coram? Plainly put, I couldn't. The option was to say no to both, which would have been unfair for Lucas, or say yes to both, potentially creating a horrible day tomorrow for Steve while I am at work.

The good news is, Coram's body stuck to it's routine and he fell asleep on the couch. He will remember that he got the same privilege as his brother, and that is what matters.

And the other good news is, the Canucks won. Boo ya.