Saturday, March 03, 2007

One Day Closer

Each day I wake and realize we are one day closer to bone Graft.

The big, huge, ominous surgery that I have been dreading since that wonderful day in April almost nine years ago when Lucas was born.

I have been stockpiling activates … maze books, small model kits, videos, card games … whatever I can get on the cheap from Scholastic or at the local toy store. I know Lucas will have a very hard time if he doesn’t have anything interesting to do, and I know we are looking at an extended period of inactivity. Add to that Lucas doesn’t really care to read, and it makes me worry.

We talk about Bone Graft a lot. Lucas is very scared, but is trying to be brave. Almost everywhere we go someone wants to talk with him about it. We are trying to keep it close in his mind, so that it doesn’t seem like it came out of left field for him. My mom is set to take him for a few days after the worst of the healing is over, and she promised him piles of videos to watch and games to play, so he is happy about that.

The other day, when it was just him and me, I asked him how he was feeling about it and he had a cry. He puts on such a brave face for everyone else, but I know he is scared.

I am doing my best to remain positive in his presence, and not let my nagging anxiety show. He has enough of his own, he doesn’t need mine added to it.

Te wonderful thing is Coram is doing very, very well. I got a call from the teacher recently – and she was just calling to tell me how well has been doing, and how proud of him she is. We are working on a plan to transition him to a mainstream school with an aide. His teacher says he has learned what they have to teach in that class – which is how to appropriately deal with emotions. He is making choices without prompting that are appropriate ways to handle his anger and worry. I am so proud of him. And I am so relieved that things have gotten so much better, it gives me hope.