Friday, April 28, 2006

Moving on.

Coram is now in a new school.

He just couldn’t make it work at the last one.

I think he really was trying. I think I wasn’t fair to him along the way, and that the teachers weren’t either. We all thought we were doing the right thing, but I believe now that we were asking him to do things he simply could not do.

I have to remind myself that six year old boys 9even those who are almost seven) don’t intentionally misbehave. My boy was giving me signals, clear as day, that he could not meet the expectations placed on him. His ever day was filled with frustration, disappointment, and hopelessness.

Imagine going to work, and not being able to successfully complete the task you boss placed in front of you. Your co-workers complete them, and they earn rewards and accolades, but you don’t. You spend your days being reprimanded and punished. You have little to no success on a day-to-day basis. You try your hardest, and then push a little harder, but you cannot achieve what is expected of you.

Wouldn’t you be in a pretty grumpy mood most of the time, too?

Wouldn’t you stop trying, too?

Rewards would start to be laughable, because you would know they were out of your reach.

Life would seem hopeless and frustrating.

And that is the life my little boy has been living.

We have scaled back our expectations, moved Coram to a remedial school, and taken the pressure off.

And my little guy is so very much more at ease in his own skin. He loves to share with me the successes of his day.

I don’t know how much he is learning. I don’t know how he would compare with other kids his age academically.

And I don’t know what his future holds.

But I know that for now, for here, he is happy.