Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Cute things kids say

One of the reason we name our second son Coram is that we didn’t think there was ANY way it could be shortened or twisted into a name that kids could make fun of.

Well, the other day, Coram came home and told us the kids were calling him ‘Apple Cor’.

I about peed my pants. How did they come up with that? Of course I had to stop laughing because to Coram this was a traumatic and horrible nickname, not ingenuous and cute.

A term of endearment Lucas used for Coram recently…’Little Fried Pancake’. The context was something like ‘… is that okay Little Fried pancake?’ N one in our family has EVER used that as a nickname, but it was unbelievable cute as a term of endearment from Lucas to his little brother.

And finally, Lucas was telling me about something on his leg that he called an ‘owie cap’. This, translated, is a scab. Personally I think ‘owie cap’ sounds better AND makes more sense J

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Woke Up This Morning...

I'm climbing out of bed. I'm reaching for my big fluffy robe, wrapping it around me. My brain is still fuzzy.

'Mom, I did something that's going to make you upset, but I'm very sorry!'

Ah. Surprise surprise. 'What did you do?'

'I ate some of the second layer of cake you made for today.'

Fully awak, I run into the kitchen, where I have laid out two layers of cake in preparation for icing, as today is my younger son's birthday party.

I now have one and a half layers.

'Sorry mom, I was hungry and I just didn't think.'

Yup, that's it in a nutshell.

What the heck is a logical consequence for THAT?

And what the heck am I gonna do for a birthday cake?

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Dum de Dum

School's out. The garden is blooming. So far nothing has been irrevocably damaged around my home.

I bought my son a t-shirt that says, 'Here Comes Trouble'. I think it's the most appropriate shirt he could ever wear.

Not that he's nothing but trouble; but he's a jokester at best, loving a good prank, and he's full-blown no impulse control ADHD at worst. Either way it's trouble.

It occurs to me that I haven't posted much positive about my life, or my children.

I think that is mainly because the reason I post here at all is to put a bit of a comic spin on the events of my life, as a sort of relief to myself.

And so, I don't often post when I'm just feeling that warm and fuzzy 'I love my kids' kind of feeling.

But I do love my kids. My life is so much richer for having them. I have learned more about myself and life and patience and humanity and relationships and...well, everything...through my interactions with my children. Not to mention that they give me a purpose. And raising a child to be a competent, content adult who is achieving his potential is probably the most important purpose I can imagine.

Fingers crossed I can achieve that goal.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Sunday Adventures

Sunday Am.

I have been working a lot this week because my co-worker had a death in the family. I am totally exhausted.

Steve worked at 5:30 am this morning.

I’m not entirely sure when the kids woke up. I was to dead to the world to hear it. They are old enough to be safe for an hour or so while I sleep. They are 7 and almost 6. I knew they would get up and play video games for a while.

9:20 am…I start to rise out of sleep and I hear someone say, ‘Check to make sure Mom is still asleep’.

Not good.

I get up and see Lucas with a pair of scissors. I asked him what he’s doing with them and he says he had opened the bag of Bits and Bites. They are sitting in front of the game system eating right from the bag.

Ok, there are rules about food in the living room, but it’s a relatively minor infraction. There are also rules about eating out of the bag, but it’s also minor. I remind them of the rules and I take away the bits and bites. No big deal.

While I am scooping up the bits and bites, I notice dark clumps all over the ground.. I am groggy with sleep and I can’t tell what they are so I ask Coram. ‘Hair.’ he says.

Very not good.

My eyes clear and I look at Lucas. He is wearing an impish grin and chuckling. And he is definitely missing a very large clump of hair from his bangs. And he thinks it’s fantastic.

‘Ok,’ I say, ‘ what else?’.

Coram tells me Lucas coloured all over him with permanent marker. Sigh. That happens a few times a week, actually. Then, I Iook for the marker and find it beside one of my teddy bears. With a new face and tie drawn on him. ‘I thought it would make him look happy!’ says Lucas, looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

What can I do? I am furious inside, but I feel that I can’t get too outwardly angry at Lucas. After all, it ws me who slept in, and I know full well what he can be like in the morning without his medicine.

I decide to sit down and journal it all. Here is where I get the final blow: There is permanent marker all over the keyboard. The NEW keyboard. Which, incidentally, had to be replaced because one morning Lucas decided to take all the keys off and put them back in alphabetical order. He thought he was being helpful. He destroyed all the springs in the process.

As I settle in to typing, Lucas says, ‘Aren’t you going to go back to sleep?’

Uh, No. I don’t think so.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

So is silence really golden?

When you have kids, you get used to a certain amount of noise.

When you have a child with ADD you get used to a LOT more noise.

When my son isn't talking, he's singing. When he's not singing, he's humming or just making random mouth noises to some melody that's only pleasant o him. Or playing at whining. He thinks it' funny to say 'WAAAAAAA' in the loudest whines voice he can. For no reason. Just to make noise.

On some occasions, we see another symptom of ADD: e hyper-focuses. What this means is that he gets interested in a task and no matte what we do we can't pull im way. Most of these times though, we don't try. Those hours when h is hyper-focused on art or on Lego are some o the only waking hours of quiet we get and we enjoy them. It's not like focusing on Lego is going to hurt him, after all.

But the hyper-focused silence can be deceptive. This morning he was right into colouring. It was amazing. A Sunday morning that was peaceful. He at sat the kitchen table and coloured and drew and coloured some more. His younger brother would drop in on him for small 10-15 minute colouring sessions, then go do his own thing. No arguing. No whining. No non-stop noise. I made a cup of tea and sat at the computer. I let my guard down for a bit. This is a golden moment, I thought.

Then into the living room came my creative wonderful quiet-for-a-time ADD son. But he didn't look like himself. In the 15 minutes that I had let myself enjoy the quiet, he had used his permanent markers to make himself look like Spider Man. The art was impressive, to give him credit. He had even taken is shirt off and drawn web lines all over his chest and the parts of is back he could reach.

We have tried three times today to wash it off. But it's looking like he's going to school decorated.

So today I learned that silence, in this household, may be golden, but it does NOT mean that an ADD child has miraculously gained the ability to control impulses and make good decisions.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Shhhh ... It's A Secret!

So I have a new profession.

But I really shouldn't say what it is.

It's a secret.

And no, before you decide to do a quick search on yorlocal porn erach engine for my new site...that's NOT it.

No. Now I am a...what shall we call it..Service Evaluation Specialist? Quality Inspections Consultant? Discreet Evaulations Engineer?

Oooh that last one sounds racey.

Oh stuff it. I'll just tell you.

I've been Mystery Shopping.

Yes it's true. It DOES exist. That girl on Oprah was only half lying. There's no way to ake $40 an hour for it, but you can get $10 and a free meal or bottle of hair shampoo or something.

Not to mention the ability to DO something about the snotty clerk the grocery store who never spoke he whole time you were there and wouldn't make eye contact. BUSTED baby! That's goin in the report!

O.....the power!

Well ok I'm getting carried away.

Actually, so far on the shops I am Shopping (note the capital 'S') I have had disapoiningly good customer service. I have not had the pleasure of sending scathing customer service reports in, knowing I would be bringing about the termination of the very employee who ruined my cappuccino (and thus, my day, my week and maybe my whole life). OOOOh but I lie in wait...and pity the sod who forgets o smile ad say 'Thank You' when I am Shopping their store...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Hmmm. I seem to have gone mad today. I have several Shops to do tomorrow so I' better get to sleep so I can be not-mad tomorrow.

Fingers Crossed.

Monday, March 21, 2005

So Apparantly...

...The Vancouver School Board will fund in-class aids for children who have a diagnosis that is neurological, but will not fund classroom aids for kids with a chemical diagnosis.

In other words, children with Sensory Integration Disorder, a neurological problem, can stay in regular classes with an aide.

Children with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, must be moved to a 'placement' in a special needs class.

Nevermind that these two disorders can have parallel manifestations and the diagnoses of both can be confused and mixed.

Nevermind if a specific child who may have the OCD diagnosis would do far better with an aid in a mainstream class...and would likely transition to mainstream classes woithout an aid in the near future, if given the CHANCE.

Not to mention that soem children with SID have violent behavioral outbursts that don't belong in a mainstream classroom.

So much for being flexible and providing for a child's needs. SO much for evaluating each case and makin appropriate funding/resource decisions.

Nope, this is arbitrary. This is black and white. No ifs ands or buts about it.


I thought we had progressed so much further than this.

Friday, January 07, 2005

Of Cockraoches and Salsa Sharks

It's amazing how the appearance of cockraoches in one's home can cause one to descend to the deepst pits of paranoia and self flaggelation. We all assume that if we have cockroaches we must have brough it on ourselves: we are disgusting, lazy, slobbish human beings.

I for one know for more than sure that I have lived in worse homes than this, and that before we had our dishwasher, the dishes sat out more often and for longer than they do now. Yet never before have we had an evil infestation.

When the first few bugs appeared, though worried, I was sure that they were just a few passing travellers. It's when they moved on into the bathroom that I started to worry. Then the day came that I offered tea to a guest - and to my horror when I opened the cupboard for mugs, there was a roach crawling down the inside of the door.

Being hip and savvy, I of course logged on to my computer and quickly performed a search on Google for cockroaches, to learn how I could take care of the problem.

The more I read the larger the lump of panic in my gut grew.

Cockraoches, I read, are very difficult and expensive to get rid of.

First - you practice 'exclusion' which means you work to keep food sources from being available.

Wipe all counters down regularly. Ok I can do that.

Wipe up all spills immediately. That's just common sense.

Vaccum all crevices that may have crumbs, such as between the stove and the counter, under the lip of the cupboards, in crackss on tile. Uh....OK now we are getting a little overwhelming.

By the end of my research I invisioned myself scouring my home from top to bottom, securing all dishes, silverware, utensils, mugs, cups, wineglasses and miscellaneous in some sort of air-tight containers, removing any and all foods that *may* have already been crawled on...heck...while I was at it I'd have to get rid of the couch (which was second hand and could have roaches in it) the stove (also second hand) and the dishwasher, a hand-me-down (nooooo not my dishwasher!!!).

Visions of an old Twilight Zone swam through my head - the one where the OCD guy lived in a white, empty room and still had himself encased in plastic because he was afraid of the bugs.

I was able to calm myself and my husband down. We had to talk untill 2 AM about the bugs, our life, other peoples lives, the bugs, work, the bugs, the kids, the bugs and finally the fact that maybe we were over-reacting to the bugs.

I can see clearly, at times like this, the fine line I could cross to be completely mad.

We live in a world that is full of crawly gross things that leave trails of slime behind them - how could one *not* go mad if one thought too deeply about it?

So the key, I suppose, is not to let the mind get away from one. Call the landlord, have the kitchen sprayed (but make sure to keep the cats tucked away so they don't get sick), have yourself a burrito for a late night snack (and don't forget the salsa), and move on.


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

What about Typos?

OK so ...I have this other Blog...and it's my business Blog...and I am uber-careful about editing it for typos and grammar.

But here's the thing...

I much prefer NOT to stop and worry about typos, etc ... I think it interferes with my genius. Or madness.

Just have an IM conversation with me, you'll see I type crazy fast but you *really* need your own updated versiou of the Typo Translator to understand what I am saying most of the time.

My business partner (see her awesome work here) has been working with me for oh, say 2 years. She's got the Typo Translator pretty much internalized now, though sometimes I stump her with a really great new one.

So what do you think? Could you respect someone who had some really good ideas - business, personal, or otherwise ... but presented them rife with typos??

I'm not talking about website content mind...just a personal blog like this one.